|
theskullelectric
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Charlie
Country: United States
State: Arkansas
Metro: Russellville
Birthday: 6/20/1984
Gender: Male
Interests: american psycho, anderson, aphex twin, arkansas, billy talent, bjork, blue velvet, boggle, books, bret easton ellis, catcher in the rye, chinese food, cloudy weather, concerts, david lynch, deftones, dennis cooper, directors, dmae, electroclash, fargo, glassjaw, halloween, harmony korine, head automatica, intelligent people, interpol, jd salinger, ken park, kill bill, ladytron, lightning bolt, mc chris, mitch hedberg, mount simms, movies, mr. bungle, paul thomas anderson, photography, pinback, refused, russellville, sifl and olly, six feet under, steve buschemi, the blood brothers, the celestine prophecy, adult, the faint, the mars volta, the shining, the smiths, the strokes, Ayn Rand
Expertise: Rock like Dokken
Occupation: Student
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
MSN: theskullelectric@hotmail.com
Yahoo:  myskulliselectric
AIM:  armedwithstereo
Member Since:
9/12/2004
|
|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| In early 1994, Seinfeld was at the height of its popularity. Co-creator Larry David, known for his dark sense of humor, wrote a surrealist episode which would have ran as episode 76 in late 1993. The episode was never filmed because the cast felt it was too frightening for prime time television, and Jason Alexander objected to putting raw meat in his mouth. What follows are the surviving excerpts from the script.
[INT - Monk's Diner, Day]
[Jerry and George are sitting at the booth eating lunch. Jerry has a salad, and George's plate is piled with different kinds of meat which he is devouring noisily]
Jerry: Well this is new.
George: [mouth full] This is all you really need Jerry. Meat!
Jerry: Yeah, that and Plavix. That stuff is clogging your arteries as we speak.
George: [Fist pump] Fill 'er up!
Jerry: I'm surprised they didn't need a team of oxen to haul all that meat to the table.
George: Maybe a meatcart. Or a meatloader.
Jerry: [Laughing] And how are they gonna bring it all to port? Gonna need some kind of meatvessel.
George: A meatship. [laughs and snorts]
Jerry: Maybe the ship itself is made of meat too. That way you could just eat it along with all the meat it brings you.
George: Yes! An edible food delivery service! This is what I should be doing, Jerry. First mate of the meatship, George Costanza!
Jerry: I'm afraid that ship has sailed.
George: Think of all the joy it could bring to the world. And it's clean...everything's edible, so there's no pollution.
Jerry: Kind of like a flesh version of Willa Wonka's Chocolate Factory.
[George seems lost in longing thought]
Jerry: Hey! How long has it been you've had a vegetable?
George: This morning. I had lettuce on my cheeseburgers.
Jerry: They're gonna need a meathurse comin up.
[INT - Jerry's apartment, Night]
[Jerry is asleep. Cut to dream sequence with Jerry standing on the pier looking out into the ocean. A strange object appears out over the water, moving closer]
Jerry: What the?
[The object moves into view. It's a boat, but not any ordinary boat]
Jerry: The meatship?
[gradually a short stocky figure becomes visible on the bow]
Jerry: George?
[The meatship sends out a sausage tentacle which picks up Jerry and places him on the deck next to his friend]
George: Hey! Look at me!
Jerry: Oh my god, you're...connected to the deck!!
[The camera pans down to reveal a meaty growth over George's legs connecting him to the ship]
George: This is where I belong Jerry.
Jerry: Oh Moses smell the roses!
George: Join me, Jerry. The meatship is one of endless delights. Endless!
Jerry: [repulsed] Look at you! Look at your legs. Something...is going on down there!
[George looks down]
George: Want a bite?
[George reaches down and pulls a strip of flesh from his leg, eating it greedily]
Jerry: [disgusted] Okay! That's enough for me! So long folks, you've been great!
George: You can't leave Jerry. We won't let you.
Jerry: We? You and who else?
[The fibrous salami deck opens and Kramer, now half spare rib, lauches through it toward Jerry]
Kramer: Hey buddy! Try the roast pork!
[Kramer holds out his arm]
Jerry: I don't wanna try the roast pork!
Kramer: Who's gonna turn down roast pork a la K-Man? Giddyup!
[Jerry turns to run, but is stopped cold when he sees the cabin. There is a giant visage of Newman smiling smugly.]
Newman: Hello...Jerry!
[Jerry bolts upright out of bed in a cold sweat and realizes it was a dream]
Jerry: Meatship!
[INT - Monk's Diner, Day]
[Jerry, George and Kramer are having lunch. George is eating meat again.]
Jerry: Boy you are not gonna believe the dream I had last night.
George: You had a dream too?
Jerry: More like a nightmare. You remember that joke we made about a ship made out of meat?
George: [Nervously] You had a dream about the meatship?
Jerry: Yeah, and it was like this living organism. The decks were made out of salami, and it had this sausage tentacle that picked me up and threw me on deck! You were there, Georgie. The ship...assimilated you and Kramer. I don't know, you were like attached with meats.
Kramer: Ayaya. What'd I do?
Jerry: I think you and George were addicted to the meat. I think the ship lured you both there with promises of succulent beef and pork products, and then...SNAP!!
[George flinches]
George: That was...that was my dream too...
Jerry: Get out!
George: [hesitant yet defiant] You listen to me, Jerry. That was the most wonderful feeling. I felt like I finally belonged! I've been searching for that my whole life. And the meatship gave it to me!
Jerry: That's what you said in the dream!
George: NAHHAAA!!
Kramer: George, was there pulled pork? I can't get enough pulled pork. I don't know what it is! The savory sauce just integrates with that pork so perfectly. I've never been able to turn down a pulled pork sandwich. In fact, if I could live in pulled pork, I would do it.
Jerry: You would?
Kramer: IN A HEARTBEAT! YEAAHH!!
George: You know something, I think you're jealous.
Jerry: Jealous?
George: JEALOUS!! JEALOUS OF MY NEW MEATFRIEND. WELL I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU HORN IN ON IT. NOT THIS TIME JERRY.
[George begins to have dry heaves.]
Jerry: Oh my god are you puking?
[George panics. He places his hand in front of his mouth and begins to pull out a raw slice of bacon]
Jerry: [repulsed] Is that...raw? Where did that come from?
George: OH MY GOD! SALMONELLA! TRICHINOSIS!
[George races up to an old man sitting at a nearby booth]
George: AM I SUSCEPTIBLE TO ANY DISEASES? SHOULD I GARGLE MOUTHWASH? WHAT CAN HAPPEN?!
[George runs out onto the street screaming]
Jerry: Well I've never seen this one before. | | |
| I've gotten so much cool stuff within the last few weeks. List of certain cool things as of now:
Books:
Allen Carr - The Easy Way to Quit Smoking
Adolf Hitler - Mein Kampf
Carl Sagan:
The Demon-Haunted World
Pale Blue Dot
Kurt Vonnegut:
Breakfast of Champions
Cat's Cradle
Mother Night
Next Door
Player Piano
Slapstick (Or Lonesome no More!)
Slaughterhouse Five
The Sirens of Titan
Richard Dawkins:
various essays and speeches
The Blind Watchmaker
The God Delusion
Unweaving the Rainbow
A Devil's Chaplain
The Ancestor's Tale
The Selfish Gene
The Extended Phenotype
Watchmen (graphic novel)
The Walking Dead (comic series 1-49)
The script to Quentin Tarantino's new movie, Inglorious Bastards
The Rosetta Stone Spanish software versions 1,2 and 3
A SNES emulator with most of the SNES games
Tales from the Darkside Season 1
Ahhh!!! Real Monsters Seasons 1-4
---------------------------------------------------
I know there's more, but I've deleted a lot of stuff.
| | |
| I'm totally listening to Coolio right now.
I read somewhere that we only do things so that other people will see
or approve of what we're doing. I think that reading that thought
completely changed my life. After I read it, I tried to make sure that
I didn't brag about what I did or even told anyone who didn't ask.
I read somewhere that "well, since they're a teenager, all they will
talk about will be themselves." I started listening to my sisters. Then
I started listening to everyone else that I came into contact with.
After that I started only talking about ideas and concepts instead of
what I did on the weekend or my future plans.
After a while, all this stopped and I just hated everyone. I started to
focus on what I was doing and completely ignored what everyone else was
doing. I was much, much happier. Of course. I had started being
proactive in my life instead of responsive.
I started drifting after a while. Stopped trying to carve my own
brainwaves. Still didn't really believe in anyone else, and thought I
knew how everything works(and still do), but I'm a lot less intense
about self-actualization in this respect. (Self actualization doesn't
actually exist, but the phrase is appropriate, here, for the message.)
It's so weird how you can think that something means so much, but say
it and not have someone respond. I'm not being weird or anything, but
everyone thinks that the things they say are the most important things
and that if something means a lot to them, it should mean a lot to
everyone else.
When you feel like you break through a wall and try and tell everyone,
you can't express it in terms they understand or they just aren't at
the point where it would make sense to them or they would even care.
HAHAHAH.
You just have to laugh. | | |
|
Is anyone else's attitude about the world affected by lighting? I
mean, not just kind of feel weird, but feel like everything is kind of
bleak? I'm sitting in this room with a dim, yellow light, and while I
just got a kick-ass house, good job prospects, and found out that I'm
going to finish school "on-time," I feel like I would get the same
outcome if someone would just hit me in the face with an axe.
I've been unable to get a healthy, full nights sleep for months. Ever
since I planned on moving to Chicago, I've kept myself up nights
thinking about stuff. This isn't particularly new, but instead of some
having some random problems, I was about to throw myself into an abyss
of ignorance and confusion. I left my home in Russellville at the
beginning of June and embarked on a week long stay in Mountain Home.
Slept on couches for a week in Mountain Home, one night on the floor.
Moved to Chicago the next week. Slept on couches for three weeks, one
week on an air mattress I bought for my room. Moved back to Mountain
Home, slept on couches for a week. Moved to Conway the next week, been
sleeping on couches for two weeks now. I haven't had a place I've felt
at home in since the first week of June. I haven't slept since
mid-April.
I signed a lease, on Friday, to the nicest, most upscale house I've
ever lived in. I bought a badass motorcycle about two weeks ago. My
motorcycle is in Mountain Home and I won't sleep in my new house until
Monday night. This is the longest, most intense "I can't wait until"
period I've ever had. I'm going to finish school on time, not only do I
have a place to live but it's badass and in a gated community, and I
got a badass motorcycle about an hour after I had decided to start
looking for one.
After all those nightmares and tumultuous emotions, I feel that
everything has turned out for the BEST. This is one of the first times
in my entire life when I've felt completely and utterly satisfied.
Kind of a 360 from the beginning of the entry, huh?
Oh, for a bonus, here's Andy Dick's latest mugshot.
| | |
|
Is anyone else's attitude about the world affected by lighting? I
mean, not just kind of feel weird, but feel like everything is kind of
bleak? I'm sitting in this room with a dim, yellow light, and while I
just got a kick-ass house, good job prospects, and found out that I'm
going to finish school "on-time," I feel like I would get the same
outcome if someone would just hit me in the face with an axe.
I've been unable to get a healthy, full nights sleep for months. Ever
since I planned on moving to Chicago, I've kept myself up nights
thinking about stuff. This isn't particularly new, but instead of some
having some random problems, I was about to throw myself into an abyss
of ignorance and confusion. I left my home in Russellville at the
beginning of June and embarked on a week long stay in Mountain Home.
Slept on couches for a week in Mountain Home, one night on the floor.
Moved to Chicago the next week. Slept on couches for three weeks, one
week on an air mattress I bought for my room. Moved back to Mountain
Home, slept on couches for a week. Moved to Conway the next week, been
sleeping on couches for two weeks now. I haven't had a place I've felt
at home in since the first week of June. I haven't slept since
mid-April.
I signed a lease, on Friday, to the nicest, most upscale house I've
ever lived in. I bought a badass motorcycle about two weeks ago. My
motorcycle is in Mountain Home and I won't sleep in my new house until
Monday night. This is the longest, most intense "I can't wait until"
period I've ever had. I'm going to finish school on time, not only do I
have a place to live but it's badass and in a gated community, and I
got a badass motorcycle about an hour after I had decided to start
looking for one.
After all those nightmares and tumultuous emotions, I feel that
everything has turned out for the BEST. This is one of the first times
in my entire life when I've felt completely and utterly satisfied.
Kind of a 360 from the beginning of the entry, huh?
Oh, for a bonus, here's Andy Dick's latest mugshot.
| | |
|
